Forgiveness

   

Sorry is a too small of a word sometimes.  It does not include the sorrow and the pain it caused someone.

To say, and truly mean that you are sorry for something you said or did, means that you understand the hurt your behavior caused.  It does not excuse a hurtful behavior, but it means that the person you hurt matters to you.

If your intention was to never hurt this person, there is a big chance that the other person will recognize that.  Forgiveness can take time.  Be patient.

We are all human and we do make mistakes.  It is how we handle our mistakes that will define us.  If you let your tongue slip and your words hurts another person, there is no way to take those words back.  They are out there, and have sneaked in to the other person’s heart.  You need to make it right again, but how?  The only thing you can do is to ask for forgiveness with all your heart.  If you know that you have hurt someone, let them know how sorry you are.  Do not be proud or scared to be rejected.  You need to do right from your end of the relationship.

If the person forgives you, is not the same as your behavior was justified.  It just means that both of you recognize that your relationship is worth fighting for.  To not let words spoken in frustration destroy what you do have together; let it be a friend, child, parent, or a lover.

I assume most of us are walking around needing to forgive someone who has hurt us in some way.  To hold on to resentment will only bring poison to our souls, and we are hurting ourselves more that way.  If you are able to forgive someone for his or her actions that hurt you, you are setting yourself free.  Do you need to ask someone for forgiveness, or do you need to forgive someone?  The time is now.

Today I am the one asking someone for forgiveness.  I messed up some time ago, and my words hurt someone I love dearly.  It all came from my own shortcomings and judgmental mind.  So what do I do after I have asked for forgiveness?

Today I am trying to be a better version of myself than yesterday.  I am also trying to give the person I hurt both space and time for the wounds I inflicted to heal.  I pray for forgiveness as loud as I can.  With all my heart.

Trust

When you start trusting a friend with your heart, you are actually giving them a piece of your heart.  If that trust is broken, the missing piece in your heart is not replaceable.

Someone that I trusted and loved with all my heart, just used and deceived me.  I fully believed it was true friendship, but I was fooled.   This person was a real good actor, and my brown eyes were too blue.

It will be awhile until I will dare to trust a new person completely.  The hurt of this deceit will take some time to get over.  I have time, but I don't have another heartache in me.

For now I will fill the empty piece in my heart with all the love that I have for my true friends.  My friends that are in it for the whole ride, with bumps in the road and all.

Thoughtful Thing

Things don't mean a thing, is what most of us know when it comes to real life.  What really matters is LOVE.  Except when a gift is received from a special person close to your heart.  Then the meaning of the gift can multiple, like it did for me on Mother's Day.  The necklace I received is beautiful, but it's more than that.  It represents the infinity love that the children and I share.

I will wear this necklace with pride and happiness.  The necklace came with a meaningful message that rings true.  We are part of one another.  The circle of Love will continue forever.

Mother's Day

Cheers to all amazing - hard working - all loving mothers out there!

Some of us do not live near our mothers here on earth, and some mothers have left us to be in heaven.  Some mothers are not with their children on this day.  Their children might be living elsewhere, or their children left this world too early.  This is a day that for some can mean heartbreak and sadness.  My wish though is that we can honor our mothers and celebrate the beautiful gift of motherhood.  Cheers to all awe-inspiring mothers!

Fear

You have all heard the expression that “to overcome your fears, you must face them.”  There is no going around, which is easier said than done.  Like most people I am afraid of a few things, and I deal with my fears differently depending on what the fear is about.  Some things that I am afraid of, I simply choose to avoid.  Some fears I meet hesitantly, and a few fears I stare right in the eye.  The fears that I avoid facing will continue to be with me.  With the fears that I try my best to face, there is a chance that I will overcome them with time. When it comes to your health you do not have the luxury to contemplate if you will face your fear or not.  You just do.  Like I will do tomorrow.

With every cell in my body trembling today, I have no choice in the matter but to face my fear.

Tomorrow I will enter the “twilight zone” and trust that the doctor knows what he is doing.  Writing this I realize that I am afraid of two things tomorrow: the procedure itself and the result.  In reality this means that I am afraid of the unknown.  My battle that I am facing tomorrow is small in comparison to many others.  So this is not a pity party.  It is just me acknowledging that I am in fact scared.  Maybe you are scared of something in your life as well?  It might be something real or imagined.  It does not matter what it is.  The fear is real.

Try to find a loved one that can take your hand so you can face your fear.  Dare to stare it down.  I will try my best to do just that tomorrow.  I am surrounded by love, and with that thought I realize that I have nothing to be afraid of.

First I just have to visit “la-la-land”, which my son (who has had several medical procedures done) calls it.  Hopefully I will not say too many inappropriate things while staying in “la-la-land”.  Only the doctor and nurse will know …

I will meet you all again on the other side of the twilight zone.  Looking forward to it.