Feb. 11: I arrive in Stockholm in the arms of one of my dearest friends. She had promised me to be there on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. To know that she would be there was the only thing that made it possible for me to board the plane in NYC. Knowing that she would be there to greet me with open arms made it all possible for me to make the journey for the upcoming farewell of my beloved Mormor. I will treasure my dear friend's embrace for eternity.
Transit
Feb. 10: While waking up I am thinking of the old phrase "life is for the living". Suddenly I know what to do with the hours I have in New York City before my flight to Sweden. I've dreamed about skating at The Rockefeller Center ever since I saw the movie "Serendipity". An hour later I am skating on the ice hearing soft pop music in the background. I hear my skates cut the ice and I feel free. Who says you cannot skate your sorrows away? I realize dreams do come true, and my heart beats with hope! A few hours later I realize that I had fooled myself. The skating earlier in the day was just temporary happiness. But isn't that what life is? Temporary. I am sitting in my seat on the plane heading to Sweden. I am swallowing my tears. They are falling straight down to my heart.
Reflection
Hello and welcome! Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in NYC deciding it is time to start communicating with the world. My writing is always straight from my heart, and I hope I'll get to know your heart as well. That is what life is all about - connecting with one another.
So here I am in an unfamiliar environment, halfway between my two worlds. My home in Los Angeles and my childhood home in Sweden.
I'm traveling from the west to the east with a broken heart. I needed to break up the long trip to breathe, so here I am ... I'll continue towards Sweden tomorrow. It's a little like procrastinating when you've an important dead-line at work. You know you have to do it. You don't want to do it. You know you will do it. At the very last minute you'll finish what needs to be done.
I am on my way home to Sweden to say my last farewell to my beloved Grandmother (Mormor). She has been my constant love my whole life. Now I need to face the world without her. I'm a little lost, but with baby steps I'll find my way. I know she will guide me from above.
I'm heartbroken from the loss of her. No, that's not correct. My heart has several broken pieces that has come from true living. The passing of my Mormor just made my heart break a little more. I'm trying the hardest to let the light from her love shine through the cracks in my heart. To let her love and light make me come more alive, and appreciate the gift that my Mormor was to me.
Arriving in NYC in the middle of winter made me freeze to my bones. You adapt quickly to warm weather. I needed to feel warm tonight, from the inside and out. A drink, delicious food and good company helped me bring warmth back. It's time to say goodnight with a sad but a grateful heart. My Mormor was a true Angel on earth. She was sleeping her way to the other side. Her wings will make her arrive where she belongs. In Heaven.
Tomorrow I'll fly closer to closure.
