Walk into 2016 with your heart open

 

I did not make a New Years resolution this year, they never seem to manifest.

What about You?  Did You promise something?  Maybe You did, and maybe You promised something really important.  If You did, I hope with all my heart that You will be able to keep your promise.  It can be a good thing.

This year I did something different though.  I set an intention of how I want to walk through life in the coming year.  It is a bit different from a promise.

How I see it; a promise is more of a literal agreement that you cannot and should not break.  It is a commitment that for me can turn into an obligation.  It does not have to be wrong to promise something for the New Year.  It can be a vow and a sacred word for You.

Personally, I think that when it comes to New Year's resolutions I have always managed to not fully live up to my promises.

That is why I am starting this year with an intention that gives a purpose and meaning to my life.  When I think of the intention to live with "an open heart", all that I feel is hope.  Hope to feel life's ups and downs.

To do the opposite, to close my heart is an easy way to protect myself from getting hurt.  I used to be afraid to fully open my heart at times.  What feelings would I experience if I did?  I feared the feelings inside of me that might show up.  What if I could not handle my emotions?  So there have been times when I have closed my heart to protect myself.  I was afraid to feel in other words.

What I was really doing was missing out on life, and all its possibilities.  If I choose to close the door to pain, I also closed the door to pure joy.

We all have scars and cracks in our hearts.  If we close our hearts we cannot let anything in or out.  Through the cracks in our hearts we might need to let go of something or someone that has hurt us.  If we keep the heart closed, the pain will remain a priosoner in our scarred world.  By letting old wounds heal by releasing them through the cracks of your heart, you are ready to fully receive joy and pure love.  When you let situations or people that no longer are good for you leave your heart, you have so much more room to give your love to people who deserve it.  In return you can completely feel the love that is given to you.  Only an open heart can do that.  Your open heart will be ready to give and receive all of life's wonders.

It is only with an open heart that new possibilities can arise and magic begins!

Go out there and dare to OPEN YOUR HEART IN 2016!  You will feel more alive.

I promise!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was just a commercialized day for me until exactly a year ago.  All the other years it just felt it was different stores selling superficial love.  All the chocolate and the flowers in the world to buy on one day has nothing to do with love.

It is nice to acknowledge one another, so of course I have been on both the giving and the receiving end on Valentine's Day.  Many of us make an effort today to show the ones we love that they are appreciated.  Something we should do every day, not just one day out of 365 days.

The way we show and give love is different for everyone.  So is how we feel that we are loved.  But the daily love that we all can show each other is to show up and be present with the ones you love.  Your full attention and company is the greatest gift.

If you are far away from someone you love you can show up in other ways.  A phone call shows that you care.  To hear the other person's voice can be balm for the soul.

Love does not know distance.  Only distant people have a hard time to reach someones heart.

A year ago my feelings about today totally changed with the funeral of My beloved Mormor (Grandmother) on Valentine's Day.  It could not have been a more fitting day, if you can have one for a funeral.  Through the grief during this day last year, I kept thinking this is what today is about.  Not saying goodbye to a loved one, but honoring and remembering the ones we love.  Dead, alive, partner, friends, parents, children, animals or this planet.  Today is about universal love.

My Mormor was the essence of what love is.  She gave love to all that she encountered in the way she treated everyone.  My Mormor would greet everyone with a kind word, a soft touch and with a warm heart.

That is what everyday love is.  Giving without expecting anything in return, because your heart says so.  I am striving to be better showing people that I love that they really matter to me.  Not just today, but everyday.  I have a bit to go, but I will keep trying to give love as much as I can.  Just like My Mormor did.

She was love.

One Year

Today it is one year since My Beloved Mormor (Grandmother) slept her way to the other side.  Not a day has gone by when I don't feel her in my heart.  That is where she resides.

I started this blog last year when I was on my way home to Sweden to bury My Mormor.  My heart was torn to pieces, and I needed an outlet for my tormented feelings.  So this blog was born out of the necessity to grieve.  To allow myself to fully mourn the loss of My Mormor meant to feel all the things that I felt, and to give myself all the time that I needed.  That process is different for everyone, and there is no right or wrong way to handle the loss of a loved one.  I handled it the only way I know:  to write.

To put words down eased my heartache, and hopefully someone else's as well.  Grief is universal and if I shared my struggle with loss, maybe others would feel less alone.

I don't miss My Mormor more today than any other day.  I just chose to honor the memory of her love more today.  The loss of her can sometimes hit me at the most ordinary moment, like when I drink my morning tea and look at the cup I am holding in my hand.  A cup with a yellow sunflower that she gave to me.  It is in those kind of moments I mourn My Mormor the most, because we will never drink tea together again.

On the other hand, she gave me so many moments for a long time that my heart is full of love from her.  Those loving memories cannot even death take away.  So I treasure My Mormor more and more, while the pain is not as sharp.  The longing and missing will always be there, so will our love.  She was a true gift of love.  That is what today is about.

Mormor said that her wish was to be cremated and have her ashes scattered in the wind, because the wind is everywhere.

As I stood there today, throwing red rose pedals up in the air for our love, I sensed the wind on my cheek,  a kiss from My Mormor showing me love.  It was My Mormor whispering that love is all around.   The wind whispered in my ear: "I am here.  Always".

So I feel My Mormor with every little gust of wind, because the wind is everywhere.

Awareness

 

I #TiedOneOn is a campaign to bring awareness to a rare disease called Dysautonomia.  October is known for breast cancer month, but less known is that it's also Dysautonomia awareness month.  It means that we are trying to bring awareness to the medical field.  Yes, you read correctly, many doctors and nurses are not educated in diagnosing and treating the many forms of  Dysautonomia.  We need to change that.

Of course it's also important to bring awareness to the public as well, as it's called the "invisible disease".  People affected with Dysautonomia often look fine on the outside but are really ill on the inside.  To hear people say:  "but you look fine", is common.  For the person struggling it can be hurtful to hear, and it can feel like they are not being taken seriously.

So what is Dysautonomia? It is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) in the body.  The ANS controls your heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, digestion, excretion, body temperature, and other involuntary bodily functions.  In other words; ANS controls everything we take for granted, everything within the body that should function without us thinking about it.  All its functions should be automatic, and it's nothing we can control. There lies the hardest part.

We want to be in control of our own body. When the ANS fails to function it differs from person to person which symptoms are most profound. It can range in severity from mild to fatal.

So yesterday I #TiedOneOn for my son Christopher, our friends Claire & Bella, myself and everyone else who is fighting any form of  Dysautonomia.

My son is proof to that there is hope.  After three years of being critically ill, he was able to fully recover due to excellent treatment, support and time.  He is a true miracle!

I believe there are more people who will recover sooner with awareness and education. This illness will take many different forms and is played out differently for every person. A few things are the same though: it is real, it is difficult, and it is a battle.  For some it will last a couple of years, and for others it can last a lifetime.

There needs to be more research done, and more awareness among the medical community.  That is what this month's campaign is about.  But the fight doesn't end with the last of October.  It is a fight 24/7, and you must fight for a better tomorrow!  Never ever give up fighting the battle!!

I'm trying my best in fighting this illness.  To try your best is all you can do.

Please join me!

www.dysautonomiafoundation.org

Let Go

Let go of yesterday so you can embrace today!