Lately I have been reading a lot about that we need to realize that we are enough as we are. I am sure you have as well. The topic is a popular one. For me it started as a self-discovering journey while I took Brené Brown's class based on her book "The Gift of Imperfection - Let Go of Who You Think You are Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are."
It is difficult to tell you in words what a change-shifter the class was, as reading her book. As a matter of fact, I have read all her books. They all have different messages, but the core of each book is that we need to dare to embrace ourselves for who we are. Plus equally important, we need to accept and embrace others for who they are. As long as they are not harmful - physically, verbally or emotional abusive. We might not agree of someone's choices in life but it is not our place to judge. They are walking their own path for their own reasons, and so is each and everyone of us.
Recently I realized that I am surrounded by some people who judge others constantly, which made me choose not to engage in conversations with those people at this time. All it did was emotionally drain and hurt me.
I wish to be surrounded by open-minded, and even more importantly open-hearted people. I am lucky enough to have those kind of people in my life, and for that I am eternally grateful. I have a choice whom I socialize and engage with. So do you.
This all came to light through the class I took and it opened my eyes for my own judgements. Mostly I constantly judge and criticize myself in my own head, more than I consciously judge others. If I am not good enough through my own eyes, how could I be in someone else's?
I will not invent the wheel here again. I am just pondering what being enough really means. As usual it will mean a different thing for different people. When I think of the statement that "I am enough", I have a hard time to relate.
I often feel that I should be a better mother, a better partner, a better friend, more physically active, smarter, and most of all I feel that I should give more love to other people in general. So I am NOT enough in my own mind. Is this negative self-talk helping me in any way? Absolutely not.
My new ritual before going to bed is to go through the day and focus on if I did anything well that day. Any action with a kind heart is what my mind is searching for. Not a flaw in my face that I can see in the mirror just before bed, but I am taking a good look inside myself. Maybe most nights I can only come up with one thing, and that is ENOUGH.
I am enough as long as my intentions are to bring out the best in me towards others.
The flip side of the coin is about setting healthy boundaries with people in your life. When someone oversteps your boundary and you are able to say to that person: "it is enough", you are letting them know it is time to respect you and your boundaries. When you can set healthy boundaries in your life, then one epiphany comes naturally; I AM ENOUGH!
I do not need to loose more weight, be in shape or do more for others. I am enough in just the way I am and do things. I needed to through in "do things" here, as actions speaks louder than words.
I do not need to fill my schedule with more superficial things. I need to fill my time with people and activities that will nurture my soul.
If I can say "NO" and "THAT IS ENOUGH" to people and circumstances that only brings emotional stress to me, then I have come a long way.
Then I can say that I AM ENOUGH, as I have said yes to myself by saying no to others.
So far I am a work in progress.
What about you?
Another year has passed without my Mormor, my Grandmother, with us here on Earth. Almost one month ago marked the two years without her here with us. I did not miss her more that day than any other day, the day just made me pause a little extra.